Damn Beach
by Allodoxaphobia
Summary: Shikamaru is dragged to the beach by Ino and Chouji. Too bad he hates the beach. The events there only further his hatred for it. For Link and Luigi's fanfiction contest


Story for Link and Luigi's fanfiction contest. Hope ya like it.

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Author's Name: Allodoxaphobia  
Title: Damn Beach  
Main Character: Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: PG (Maybe 13 for cursing)

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Damn Beach.

I hated the beach. Really I did. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Ino and Chouji. I probably could've gotten out of it if it was just Chouji. He would've asked, and I would've said that it was too troublesome, and it would have been left at that. But I wouldn't be so lucky. No, Ino had wanted to go too. There was just no denying her, so I didn't even try.

So there we were, at the beach. Having fun.

Well, they were having fun, I was perfectly content to just lay down and sleep. Of course Ino just could not have that.

"Shikamaru! Get off your lazy ass!" I could hear her yell. I didn't reply, pretending that I was asleep, hoping that she would leave me alone.

I don't know why I fool myself into thinking these things.

Seconds later I felt cold water splash onto me. I sat upto spit out the salt water that had gotten into my mouth.

"Why did you even want to come if you weren't going to do anything besides sleep?" She demanded.

…

I didn't want to be here. _You_ brought me here. Of course I wouldn't say that out loud, I wasn't a genius for nothing.

"Come on," She grabbed my arm, dragging me over to the water. Woman are very troublesome creatures. Not for the first time I found myself wondering if it'd just be easier to go gay.

I looked over to Chouji for help. All he did was shrug, grinning widely.

Traitor.

I felt the cold water on my feet and resisted the urge to run back onto the sand. I hated water, I never even drank it unless I had to. If I could be steam cleaned, I would do that instead of take showers.

Once we reached a point that she found suitable, we stopped. The water was almost up to my waist, and it was still cold.

"Come on, don't you know how to swim Shikamaru?" Chouji asked.

Of course I knew how to swim, that didn't mean I wanted to.

I figured if I humored them for a while they'd let me go back onto dry land. Chouji was already satisfied that I came here in the first place. Ino would let me go, being glad knowing that she had gotten me this far.

Before I could even put my plan into motion I noticed that neither Chouji or Ino were near me anymore. I looked up to see that they were calling to me while moving further and further out of the water.

"Shikamaru look out!" That was all I heard before I felt myself forcefully puushed under water by a wave. I was thrashed about a bit before I was finally able to regain control of my body. I resurfaced, coughing up the water that had gotten in my lungs and gasping for air. I could hear Ino and Chouji laughing from the shore.

I really needed to rethink my friendship with those two.

I looked up when I heard that they had stopped laughing. They were both gawking at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. Why the hell were they looked at me like that? Chouji started laughing again and Ino blushed and covered her eyes.

Suddenly I noticed a draft that had not been there before. I looked down. Even with my high IQ, I couldn't think of a way out of this situation.

Shit.

Before I could think of any other curse words that if uttered in my mother's presence, would surely send me to the hospital, I felt myself pushed under water again.

I really fucking hated the beach.

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I opened my eyes to see it was dark out. Before I could fully grasp my surroundings, Chouji and Ino's face came into view.

"Hey, you're finally awake!" Chouji grinned. I nodded.

"It's about time, you lazy ass," Ino said. I wasn't even going to reply to that.

I remembered what had happened before I lost conscience and mentally cursed. Life sucked.

"How long have we been here?" I asked.

"About five hours. We were gonna go home after you came to, but you just muttered something about a nap and fell asleep. We figured we'd let you sleep, seeing what you already went through today," Chouji said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. It was then that I noticed that I had a towel on me… and my swimming trunks were back in place.

"Chouji's the one that put your trunks back on. We decided to just stay around and swim while you slept. Don't worry, we made sure no one molested you," I really didn't like Ino's humor.

"I swear if you guys tell anyone…" I left it at that, too tired to think up the rest of the threat.

"Don't worry we won't. Besides, it could get back to my father."

How caring.

"And you know her dad would kill you if he found out," Chouji added.

Kill _me_? I'm the victim here.

"We should come back here tomorrow," Ino said to Chouji as we started walking back from the beach.

"Yeah, it was fun," Chouji agreed.

Fun? For who?

Damn beach

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